Our eight year old daughter has been the last two years with Daddy by herself, but this year it was time to add another princess to the fanfare. Anna, who is four and a half and very knowledgeable about every Disney Princess known, is a constant entertainment to our family with her dramatic presentations of everything from being a kitty and licking milk out of a bowl to being the princess kidnapped by the pirates. Needless to say, in a year and a half, we'll be looking at Meridian Little Theater as one of her outlets!
So, when I was talking to her a few weeks ago, I mentioned that her sister and her would be going to a dance with Daddy and would get to dress up like princesses. She immediately got this starry look in her eyes, looked directly at me with her eyes wide, and squealed, "You mean, we're going to a BALL?!" I chuckled at her drama, but realized that this dance to her would be the equivalent of Cinderella at her ball and it got me to thinking....how wonderful that her first prince would be her daddy, the man who in real life would teach her how she should be treated by gentlemen and thus train her in acting like a lady!
The art of being a gentleman and lady seems to be a dying trend in our modern age. It is sad to see young men walking in front of an older woman instead of opening a door.....sad that girls are shown role models scantily dressed talking of lustful pleasures......sad that children are allowed to push to the front of lines in even church suppers we've attended while parents just shrug or don't even notice......sad that as a culture, most parents are ignorant of these attributes in their children because they are too busy with their texting, e-mails, and cell phones to notice or are too lazy to actually get up off their derriere and show their children how to act! It seems when at a playgroup or the grocery store, it is much easier to give in to our children's demands instead of putting our foot down and struggling through a form of discipline or ...gasp!...ACTUALLY leaving a place to teach them a lesson.
Consistency is the key to good parenting as well as in teaching manners. My son, bless his heart, helped me learn this lesson well. He was notorious for getting in trouble at playgroups simply because he has strong leadership skills and even at a young age, expected even the older children to follow him. When they didn't, a simple punch in the gut of the playmate seemed to make him feel better! However, it meant momma had to either get up (every five minutes!) and discipline or simply leave to teach him a lesson. I remember one of my friends even commenting that maybe I could just let his behavior go once in while....of course, it would have been easier in the short run but not in the long run. Parents need to realize that the things they let slide now will just become more entwined in a child over time......kind of like weeds in a garden.....much harder to clean out when you let it go.
Sooooo, to get back to children acting politely and respectfully, it is a value that needs to be taught as consistently as good behavior...something that parents can choose to do to change a culture that is missing out. Our once upon a time, punch in the gut, determined son has developed into a young man that exhibits many gentlemanly manners...even though we still flub from time to time! :) He has learned the art of standing and offering his chair when an adult comes into the room as well as opening the door for elders.....and it is sad to see people shocked when he does it. In our parenting, we also have determined to teach our young girls the art of acting like a lady in situations.....which is why things like the Father~Daughter Dance is such an important event for us. It is a wonderful reminder to our girls that they are to act like the princesses they love being! .......of course, my four year old is still determined in her thinking that princesses pick their noses too! ......sigh......Hopefully, we'll get her to believe otherwise very soon. In a couple of years, our youngest, Rachel, will be in attendance at "The Ball". I wonder what adventures will be in the making with that little one!
P.S. Just had to share a pic of my princesses and their dashing prince! :)
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